BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
Cigarettes and Coffee.
Cereal with Beer and Sriracha Sauce.
Breakfast of Champions.
Desayuno De Campeones.
Inhale. Exhale. Sip… repeat.
Trolling the internet for an ounce of fucking intellect, you invariably stumble upon a digital goldmine. Satire that would make Voltaire proud. Interviews with the denizens of society- from highbrow to scumbag. Yes, there may be some party pictures. No, there won’t be sneaker release dates.
Do we know what we’re doing? No… Do we care? No.
Food. Bullshit. Good.
You’re Welcome. De Nada. Dooitashimashite.
Gank Sinatra
Born in Los Angeles and raised in the backwoods of Sacramento, Gank has built a reputation for fact-backed satire, shitty skating, and social awkwardness. He plays a mean game of tennis and thinks cool guys are a joke. Rolling with some unscrupulous individuals, he talks the talk and walks the walk.
Hentai Fujiwara
Hentai Fujiwara Lurks everywhere, he can not be seen nor be heard. A single drop of water from a sink a mile away can be heard with his ultrasonic hearing. Hide your japanese daughters from Fujiwara because he loves to stalk them. Having add and ocd and a long term depression symptoms tobasco is a maniac and can strike without notice.
Earth Angel
Self explanatory. Helps those in need of help. But has a dark side when he's depressed or lonely. Dark Angel is his other self. Which rarely comes out. But heed the warning. He can be dangerous angel. Earth Angel can be found usually above you in the heavens or the local skatepark.
ShitXfaced
Drinking beer, skateboarding, french fries, smoking cigarettes, fucking around, drinking Jack Daniels, talking shit, white t-shirts, Norwegian black metal, hangovers, Welch´s grape soda, Turboneger, Bacos, Corpse paint, Denim vest´s, hanging out on Swedens westcoast, braces.
Chris Nieratko
Despite being white writer Chris Nieratko would wager that he likes fried chicken as much as anyone on the planet. He proved himself extra hood by dancing with his mother to Ghostface at his wedding. When not rapping, he griptapes boards at one of his 3 NJ Skateshops (NJSkateshop.com)
Johnny Farovitch Kim
Farovitch was a real middle name given by his father. He's not jewish nor russian, but Cambodian. The origin of the name is still unknown... Urban Dictionnary says : "A male... who is interested in females and is extremely gifted but not in the school smart way in the package way. say people". What the hell does that mean? He does not know. Besides all that, he enjoys a good poutine up in freezing Montreal,Canada.
Tobbe Annerhult
Born black, raised pretty all white, Taking pictures, lacking of memory, Still wondering wtf the idea is to spend 6 months every year in more or less darkness.
jestDMSjesse
A lover and a fighter. Vanilla bean born and raised in Santa Ana, CA. A collector of midget porn and an obsession with bacon that may or may not be intertwined at times. An insomniac, forever scouring the interwebs for uncomfortable hilarity.
GreggHFA
This is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute And sit and chill And tell you how I became the prince of a town called Roseville In North Sacramento born and raised swimming in the river most of my days Chillin and relaxin goin to school when I decided I knew better than to work for a fool when my wife, mom, and pop backed up this idea of mine we worked out this store that'd be a gold mine We signed one little lease and handed our freedom away and said fuck I hope we can make some money each day I pulled up to the shop about 5 minutes late sippin on a venti drip while all the customers wait flip the keys to the wife and we open the door and start another day in our own retail store